About our sweet little Ethan a lot lately. So warning this post will be about him, I don't live in the past, but I do honor it, and I honor all he taught me. I was such a crying mess when I went to back to school night for Austin. The teacher asked me if this was my first child, and I told her no, but that my first was no longer with us. I think that is what started it, I never got to go to back to school night for Ethan, and my emotions were crazy. The next week our neighbors watched Austin and they have a son that was born the day before Ethan. Austin loved playing with him and I told him that is how old Ethan would be, it tore at my heart strings, but it was a good tear.
The other day, Austin said something about Ethan dying when he was a baby, I said to him, "Buddy, Ethan wasn't a baby, he was a little boy, he was 2, he was talking lots and playing lots." He said, "He was two, just like Braiden (his little friend)." I think he thought Ethan was just a baby, I am sure it is hard for a 5 year old to tell the age from pictures. I told him I had a video of him and we could watch it. The next day he kept asking for it, so I got it out, and he watched it and he sat and cried. He watched it at least four times, and then wanted his friends to watch it too. He said "Mom, I just miss him." I told him I really missed him too, but Ethan is our angel now. Austin has always known about Ethan, but I think it finally hit him this week.
As I write this post, I realize it is 6 1/2 years ago from today that he left us. I still know, and will always know that was the way it was to be, but I miss him and wonder how he would have been with his brothers, but yet it is an amazing thing to have someone you love so much in heaven. The times where you feel their sweet spirit are amazing, and for that I am grateful. I am lucky to have met some wonderful people through Ethan, my sweet friend Mindy is facing the two year anniversary of the death of her little one this week and I am lucky to have people like her in my life.
Enough of this post....sorry to be so long winded.
Once a heart mom, always a heart mom,
Karen
***Ethan as the cutest pumpkin ever, October 2001
****My favorite family pic, October 2001
17 years ago
6 comments:
Devon just looked over at me while I was reading this and crying. You are a great example of strengh Karen and I love reading about Ethan so you can write about him anytime!
Karen he is a handsome little man.. IT is okay to live in the past that is how we deal with the future.. I'm so sorry your guys loss.. He will always be with you though... Love your blog... Cute family...
Your little Ethan was a sweet little boy. I'm glad I had the chance to know him. His funeral is something that will always stay with me. I thought it was going to be a depressing funeral, but I found it to be quite the opposite. It was one of the most uplifting, spiritual times I have experienced. I loved how it focused on the Savior and the plan of salvation. I learned so much from that day. Thanks for letting me be a part of it. Thank goodness families are meant to be eternal. Love you.
You make me cry.... I have loved learning about Ethan and feel like in some small way we know him now. I loved watching the cute little movie the other day and think you guys are truly amazing!
Karen, there is nothing, nothing, nothing I can say. I'm all teary and speechless and I want to hug you. I know it is nice to have loved ones looking out for us, but it hurts too.
I love you! And I'm sorry for your loss and your hurt.
Take care!
Vick
I love it when you talk about Ethan! Because of him and Trinity, we are life long friends with a bond that is unbreakable! Our angel babies broughts us together...that is one good thing that came from their sickness and their passing. I LOVE YOU KAREN! I LOVE YOUR PRECIOUS ETHAN AND I LOVE MY PRECIOUS TRINITY FOREVER!!!
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